IF THEY HAD LIVED AND GROWN OLD

When shelter-in-place began in 2020, for the first time in my life, I had time to be still and reflect on the patients who had profoundly changed my life, especially during the early years of my work at UCSF. I thought about my AIDS patients—very young men who had cared for their partners, often facing rejection and isolation as their parents disowned them because they had AIDS. Their loneliness and resilience left an indelible mark on me.

As I sat in reflection, I began to wonder what these remarkable individuals might have looked like had they lived and grown old. This contemplation sparked the creation of this series. Each painting in "If They Had Lived and Grown Old" breathes life into these young men, not as I knew them, but as I imagined they might have looked in their later years.

Through these paintings, they became alive again, transformed into older men with the wisdom and experiences that time bestows. This series is a tribute to their resilience, capturing the essence of their potential futures and honoring their lives. It is a deeply personal exploration of what might have been, a celebration of the lives they could have led.